7 posts tagged “kids”

Caylee

For some reason this story has captured my attention and pulled at my heart.  I've been following the story since it broke and can't seem to quit thinking about how horrible it is.
Though this happens many times a year, this story about little Caylee Anthony has really got me thinking.....
In the animal kingdom it is normal for a mother to kill or maim their young, and though we are merely animals we are also human.  We have feelings and sympathy and we know right from wrong.  But what happens when a human mother kills her own children?  What goes through her mind when she is holding their head under water or wrapping her hands around their throat taking their life away?  What are they thinking?
I've met a girl in my lifetime who took her new born baby and threw it in a dumpster to leave it to die.  I talked to her a little about it and her explanation was that she wasn't thinking straight at the time.  She thought that the baby was dead, but then the baby started to cry after she dumped it and she left the baby anyway because she didn't want to take care of it.  Selfish!! 
The baby was found by somebody and was saved.  She went to jail for a while, but was only a child herself so she didn't serve much time for this crime.  I always wondered what happened to her and wondered if she ever had any other children.  Maybe I'll check into that some time.  She was always a little off mentally and I'm sure that is the problem with any woman who kills her child.  You would have to be wouldn't you?
The mother of Caylee Anthony has been arrested in this case and is being charged with her murder, amongst other things.  This mother didn't even report her missing until after a month after she had disappeared!  She was leading her life like normal and was even out partying with her friends while her child was missing!  Unbelievable!!  Even if she is found not guilty of this baby's murder she should still be found guilty of neglecting her child at the least.  What mother would have her child missing for a month and not report it?  A guilty one???
These are my thoughts:
Being a mother is not a right!  It's a privilege.  Children are miracles and should be thought of in that way.  You have been given the privilege from your God to raise this miracle and soak in the happiness that this miracle will give you along the way.  I believe that you are special when you can take your love and share it with a child, and that means natural mother's and adoptive mother's....You are all special when you share your love with a child, and if you can't share your love and only have hate or regret for your child, reach out and give that child to someone who can!  You will be blessed further down the road eventually.
Take Care!
Merry Christmas.....and love your children unconditionally!

Many teens experience a time when keeping up with school work is difficult.  These periods may last several weeks and may include social problems as well as a slide in academic performance.

Research suggests that problems are more likely to occur during a transitional year, such as moving from elementary to middle school, or middle school to high school.

Some adolescents are able to get through this time with minimal assistance from their parents or teachers.  It may be enough for a parent to be available simply to listen and suggest coping strategies, provide a supportive home environment, and encourage the child's participation in school activities. 

However, when the difficulties last longer than a single grading period, or are linked to a long-term pattern of poor school performance or behavior problems, parents and teachers need to intervene.

Identifying Adolescents Who Are At Risk for Failure

Some "at-risk" indicators, such as those listed here, may represent persistent problems from the early elementary school years for some children.  Other students may overcome early difficulties but begin to experience related problems during middle school or high school.  For others, some of these indicators may become noticeable only in early adolescence.

To intervene effectively, parents and teachers can be aware of some common indicators of an adolescent at risk for school failure, including:

• Attention problems as a young child -- the student has a school history of attention issues or disruptive behavior.

• Multiple retentions in grade -- the student has been retained one or more years.

• Poor grades -- the student consistently performs at barely average or below average levels.

• Absenteeism -- the student is absent five or more days per term.

• Lack of connection with the school -- the student is not involved in sports, music, or other school-related extracurricular activities.

• Behavior problems -- the student may be frequently disciplined or show a sudden change in school behavior, such as withdrawing from class discussions.

• Lack of confidence -- the student believes that success is linked to native intelligence rather than hard work, and believes that his or her own ability is insufficient, and nothing can be done to change the situation.

• Limited goals for the future -- the student seems unaware of available career options or how to attain those goals.

When more than one of these attributes characterizes an adolescent, the student will likely need assistance from both parents and teachers to complete his or her educational experience successfully.  Girls, and students from culturally or linguistically diverse groups, may be especially at risk for academic failure if they exhibit these behaviors.  Stepping back and letting these students "figure it out" or "take responsibility for their own learning" may lead to a deeper cycle of failure within the school environment.

Teens Want To Feel Connected to Their Family and Their School

In a recent survey, when students were asked to evaluate their transitional years, they indicated interest in connecting to their new school and requested more information about extracurricular activities, careers, class schedules, and study skills.  Schools that develop programs that ease transitions for students and increase communication between schools may be able to reduce student failure rates.

The Role of Parenting Style

Parenting style may have an impact on the child's school behavior.  Many experts distinguish among permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative parenting styles.  These parenting styles are associated with different combinations of warmth, support, and limit-setting and supervision for children.

The permissive style tends to emphasize warmth and neglect limit-setting and supervision; the authoritarian style tends to emphasize the latter and not the former; while the authoritative style is one in which parents offer warmth and support, and limit-setting and supervision.  When the authoritative parenting style is used, the adolescent may be more likely to experience academic success.

It is important to remember that adolescents need their parents not only to set appropriate expectations and boundaries, but also to advocate for them.

Parents -- and teachers -- can assist teens by:

• Making the time to listen to and try to understand the teen's fears or concerns

• Setting appropriate boundaries for behavior that are consistently enforced

• Encouraging the teen to participate in one or more school activities

• Attending school functions, sports, and plays

• Meeting as a team, including parents, teachers, and school counselor, asking how they can support the teen's learning environment, and sharing their expectations for the child's future

• Arranging tutoring or study group support for the teen from the school or the community through organizations such as the local YMCA or a local college or university

• Providing a supportive home and school environment that clearly values education

• Helping the teen think about career options by arranging for visits to local companies and colleges, picking up information on careers and courses, and encouraging an internship or career-oriented part-time job

• Encouraging the teen to volunteer in the community or to participate in community groups such as the YMCA, Scouting, 4-H, religious organizations, or other service-oriented groups to provide an out-of-school support system

• Emphasizing the importance of study skills, hard work, and follow-through

Don't Give Up on Your Child

Understanding the factors that may put an adolescent at-risk for academic failure will help parents determine if their teen is in need of extra support.  Above all, parents need to persevere.  The teen years do pass, and most adolescents survive them, in spite of bumps along the way.

Being aware of common problems can help parents know when it is important to reach out and ask for help before a difficult time develops into a more serious situation.

Back in 2005 Hillary Clinton started some controversy over violent video games.  She was the one who helped make the makers of video games have to put a rating system in place for the video games, just as the movie industry has a rating system. She also once stated:

 “The disturbing material in Grand Theft Auto and other games like it is stealing the innocence of our children and it’s making the difficult job of being a parent even harder,” said Senator Clinton. “I am announcing these measures today because I believe that the ability of our children to access pornographic and outrageously violent material on video games rated for adults is spiraling out of control.”

Although I do agree that the pornographic and violent material on video games is getting worse, I do not agree that it is making our job of being a parent any more difficult than it already is.  If you don't want your child to play these video games, then just don't buy them.  If a game is rated "M" for mature, then do not by it for your young child.  Use your brain on this one my dear parents.

I've seen Grand Theft Auto.  The game play consists of a mixture of action, adventure, driving, and occasional role-playing, stealth and racing elements and has gained controversy for its adult nature and violent themes. The series focuses around many different protagonists who attempt to rise through the criminal underworld, although their motives for doing so vary in each game. The antagonist in each game is commonly a character who has betrayed them or their organization or someone who has the most impact impeding their progress.

The series began in 1997 and currently has nine stand-alone games with a tenth one on the way, and two expansion packs for the original. Film veterans such as Michael Madsen, Burt Reynolds, Dennis Hopper, Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Penn, James Woods, Joe Pantoliano, Frank Vincent, Robert Loggia, Peter Fonda and Ray Liotta have all voiced major characters in many installments in the series. The name of the series and its games are derived from grand theft auto, a term referring to motor vehicle theft. As of 26 March 2008, the franchise has sold over 70 million copies worldwide

I remember I rented this game one time for my oldest son not knowing what was in it.  I was new at the whole video game thing and I had been convinced by him that the "M" in the case of this game was because of the shoot outs.  I figured, hey, they see that on TV.  Hell, we've had TV & movie shootouts since our grandparents were young wiper snappers, so I said OK, let's go rent it.

Wow!  What a game!  I walked into the other room to do something and I came back into the game room about 30 minutes later and what I saw was disturbing!  My son was playing the role of a pimp and was cursing at his whore, punching her and calling her names that made me blush.  I said, "what the heck?  Is this the same game that I just rented for you?"  My oldest turns to me and says, "watch this" and he proceeded to take out a chainsaw and kill the whore in the game.  I was shocked and immediately had my son turn the game off, hand it over to me, and was on my way to return the game to the video store.

I learned my lesson to read up on any game that my kids rented after that.

My whole point is though; It's up to us parents to teach our children what is right and what is wrong and what is reality. Since then my kids, now much older, have played some violent video games and the other 3 (I believe they have 4 now altogether) Grand Theft Auto's.  My kids are not violent and are not out killing any body.  They do good in school and are doing good in life.  The do know that this is make believe and not reality.   I don't believe that video games, TV, movies alone, make our children murder, commit crime, or do any thing bad.  Sure if you watch violence or sex every day of your life whether it be in a video game, TV, or in your own family you can become a mess, but if you are limited to the amount of time you are exposed to anything horrible you are less likely to commit horrible crimes and heinous acts.  It's a variety of things that cause killers to kill and rapist to rape.  Not just TV or Video games.  The way a child is raised is first an foremost the most important aspect of how he will turn out as a teenager or as an adult.  

Oh yea, and video games have never made my job of being a parent even harder"!  Thanks Hillary....

Note: The 1st Grand Theft Auto was ripped from the shelves of stores all over because if you won the entire game you would get to enjoy a video of two of the characters from the game having sex.  The company then changed the game codes and reintroduced the game back into the stores after a few months.  Needless to say, after all of the controversy the sales increased once again.

Please give me your opinion on this subject!

For all of you people with kidlets, please take a tour of this site.  Maybe your school might be interested!

My 13 year old has it at his school and everyday I get an email that updates his grades, homework, etc.  Tells me if there are missing assignments, etc....and you can email the teachers with any questions as well!

I love it!

http://www.schoolloop.com

So my 21 year old son tells me that he's asked his new girlfriend to marry him.  Of course the first thought in my mind is "OH GOD NO!".....He hasn't even known her for a year yet and he's already living with her already!  Argh!!  I'm totally thinking that he's really lost his mind!  Why would anyone at his age get married and to a girl that he hardly even knows? 

Well, I gave him my opinion.  You know what he said? 

"Mom, I'm 21 years old and you can't tell me what to do anymore!"

Yea, he put me in my place that day.....I mean who am I to tell him how to live his life? 

First off, he didn't' ask for my opinion.  Secondly, I was married and living with someone that I hardly knew at one time in my life.  And last, but not least, this is my son who is 21 and has been clean for almost 4 years now.....who turned his life around and changed for the better!

Now, who am I to think twice about my son making the right decision....He's grown up, he's managing an Italian restaurant, he's taking care of his fiance's little girl like she is his own, and he's making a very big adult decision, by waiting a year or more before they actually take that step called marriage....

If anything, I am proud of him!  Will I give him my opinion from now on? 

Only if he asks me for it!

Joshua

1 comment

You may not agree with me, but I always say defend yourself in the way you are being attacked. 

This morning as I was having my coffee @ 4AM, I was watching an episode of the Brady Bunch, which I tape everyday.  This episode was about Cindy being teased, because of her lisp, ("baby talk, baby talk.  It's a wonder you can walk"), by a bully at school and Peter coming to her rescue.  First Peter tried to reason with him.  Well this resulted in Peter getting punched in the eye by the bully and receiving a black eye.  Problem is Peter felt like a coward afterword because he didn't fight back.  Now Peter was being called a chicken by the bully. 

Carol and Mike each individually went over the bully's house to reason with the mother and father of the bully, but realized that the bully's actions had been learned.  His father was a bully and his mother was a whimp.  

Now Mike was determened to teach Peter how to fight back should the bully hit him again.  So for the next couple of weeks he taught him how to box. 

Once again Peter and Cindy are walking by and the bully starts to call them names again.  Peter tell's him to stop, but the bully keeps on.  This time though when the bully attacks Peter, Peter responds by throwing a punch and clocking the bully right in the mouth, knocking his tooth loose. 

My point is this:

I beleive that we should not let anyone push us around in life and we should teach our children to do the same.

I beleive that if someone hits you, you should hit them back in self defense.  ALWAYS defend yourself!  This is what I teach my children.  You may not agree, but we live in a society of whimps and if we don't teach our children to start standing up for themselves then life will be hard for them, period! 

 Reasoning with a bully isn't going to help.  It's like trying to reason with a terrorist (yeah, like that's gonna work).  What is a terrorist?  A really big bully!  Get it?  To extreme of an example?  Ok, when a child is bullied at school, or wherever, it is terrifing for that child to go near that person day after day.  The bully is terrorizing the child...form of terrorisim?  Yeah, in a way.  Just not as extreme.  The childs bully usually doesn't strap a bomb onto thier body though.   

An eye for an eye people!

Oh, and don't make fun of me for watching The Brady Bunch.....good wholesome family programming there.

What do you all think? 

On a walk the other day I was telling my 13 year old that he should get out more, come down to the beach and hang out.  While we were walking by the pier I looked over and was reminded of who really hangs down by the beach.  The stoner kids.  Even when I was in Jr High, like my 13 year old is, the kids that hung out at the beach that weren't surfing, were always the kids who were just hanging out smoking pot and getting into mischief.  Well, apparently they still are those kids.  My how things don't change. 

Anyway, once I made this observation I turned to my "little guy" and said to him, "Scratch that, I would rather you be home hanging out at the house then hanging out with those kids down here".  His reply, "God mom I thought you were really going crazy telling me that you wanted me to hang out with those kids, I like being home or just hanging with you guys!"

Boy did I feel silly.  My kid's GREAT!